Wait - Nancy Lee Demos

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;


Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.


I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate


and the Master so gently said, “Wait.”

“Wait? You say wait”, my indignant reply.


“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!”


Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?


By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate,


Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?


I’m needing a ‘yes’ a ‘go-ahead’ sign.


Or even a ‘no’ to which I’ll resign.

You promised, dear Lord,

that if we believe,
we need to but ask, and we shall receive.


Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:


I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,


as my Master replied again, “Wait.”


So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,


and grumbled to God, “So I’m waiting… for what?”

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine…


and He tenderly said “I could give you a sign.”


I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.


I could raise the dead and cause the mountains to run.

I could give you all you seek and pleased you would be.


You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.


You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint.


You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.

You’d not learn to see through the clouds of despair;


You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.


You’d not know the joy of resting in Me,


When darkness and silence are all you can see.

You’d never experience the fullness of love,


When the peace of my spirit descends like a dove.


You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,


But you’d not know the depth of the beat of my heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,


The faith that I give when you walk without sight.


The depth that’s beyond just getting what you ask,


From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You’d never know should your pain quickly flee,


wait it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.


Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,


But oh, what a loss, if I lost what I’m doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see,


that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me…


and though oft My answers seem terribly late,


my most precious answer of all is still “WAIT.”

my "constant"

the most constant thing in the world is change... i've heard this time and again. but oh the stubborn girl in me just won't face it. i have my ideals. i make my own way. there are times when i'm on a standstill and yet the world rushes by - without a care, without concern. sometimes it's disheartening. more often than not it pains me to the very core of my being. nobody understands! whether it be because they just don't or won't... i don't know. but come to think of it, it doesn't matter. for at the end of the day, i am left to my own devices to pull myself together and move forward anyway. or am i?

i have always tried to be a good girl and i have always tried to make everyone feel loved and happy. but i guess there comes a point where you meet people who no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to. and it's not because you're not enough but it's probably more because of the reality that they have this deep void within them that they / you / nothing can't fill. why? i don't know. maybe they were born that way? nature vs nurture. or maybe it's because they have a prevalent feeling of discontentment that stems from their search for perfectness - one which in reality, no one can really get a hold of.

i never felt i'd get there. i always thought i could make things work and just keep the happiness alive. but alas, life had other plans. shaken. alone. i found myself searching for answers and (for lack of a better term) "fillers" to this newly actualized void in me. i looked high and low. ran into conversations and debates with people i trust. they helped yes, but they weren't enough. i still felt incomplete. and then He found me (again). and i was reassured of what i should have known all along - that He was always there. that i am never ever alone because God is always by my side... laughing with me when i'm happy and crying with me when i'm sad. He's committed to me in such manner that i probably will never truly comprehend - accepting and loving me for all that i am.

i am still in search for peace. but i am proud to say that i am somewhat in a better place now. i have regained confidence in the world and i don't feel so alone and broken anymore. God is my constant. when everything is changing and moving along. He's there. i can have faith and i can put my trust in Him because i know that although i may not know nor understand what's happening, He always has my interest at heart. more importantly, He will always... always lead me to that which is best for me.

a prayer

Lord, in the midst of all the hurry of another busy day,
let me find time to slow down a bit.
to pause and feel
your loving presence.
don't let me get so caught up with myself
and my demanding schedule,
that i lose the strength that i always gain
from my quiet moments with you.
help me today
to be at peace, Lord...
with myself, with my world, and with You.
Amen.

***

Father, help me nurture a grateful heart... to give thanks regardless of whether my plans are going the way i want them to or some other way. teach me to seek the good and beautiful despite all the challenges and obstacles that seem to push down my dreams.

please hold my hand and enlighten me. grant in me a heart that can and will love unconditionally. "to give and not to count the cost. to fight and not to heed the wounds. to toil and not to seek for rest. to labor and not to ask for any reward" - help me keep my cup full Father that i may never tire of giving and being of service to those who need it most.

thank You for all the blessings You have given me. although these days haven't been as wonderful as before, i am still in thanksgiving for all the love and support that i am being showered with.

Father, help me remember that You have a divine plan... that things aren't always as they seem to be and that it is in the dark moments that we are able to get closer to You. help me keep the faith and trust in the goodness of Your word. make me remember and instill in my heart Your promise of redemption and salvation. after all, nothing is impossible for those who put their trust in You.