re-posting this because i think it's something i need to tell myself and everyone else:
Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power but self-rejection... When we come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection... as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking: 'Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.'
Instead of taking a critical look at the circumstances or trying to understand my own and others' limitations, I tend to blame myself - not just for what I did, but for who I am. My dark side says: 'I am no good... I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned...'
Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "Beloved.' Being the Beloved expresses the core truth of our existence. I am putting this so directly and so simply, because, though the experience of being the Beloved has never been completely absent from my life, I never claimed it as my core truth. I kept running around it in large or small circles, always looking for someone or something able to convince me of my Belovedness. It was as if I kept refusing to hear the voice that speaks from the very depth of my being and says: "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests...'
We are the Beloved. We are intimately loved long before our parents, teachers, spouses, children and friends loved or wounded us. That's the truth of our lives. That's the truth I want you to claim for yourself. That's the truth spoken by the voice that says, 'You are my Beloved.' - "Life of the Beloved" by Henri J.M. Nouwen
